life is to short

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Posts by life is to short

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  51

  Everything About Being An Elder is Weird (my misc rambling memories of being an elder)

  by AllTimeJeff in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  for any brother who is a jehovah's witness, the goal is put before them to reach out for the privilege of being an elder.

  i can only speak for myself, but being born into the religion, i wanted to be an elder since i was 5. i would have much rather wanted to be a doctor or engineer, but those are the breaks..... i'll skip the part about what it takes to reach out, all the crap you have to put up with as a ministerial servant to get appointed, and go straight to the reality.. i know many elders who sincerely just wanted to be shepherds.

  i did want the spotlight.

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  life is to short

  btt
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  14

  Personality Disorders Attracted to JWism

  by skeeter1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  are there personality disorders that find the watchtower an appealing fit?

  i have read it before that people with personality issues are attracted to extreme religions, and that extreme religions can make a "normal" person mentallly ill. .

  to start off with, i was reading about obsessive-compulsive disorders and this "profile" seemed like the "normal" jws i know:.

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  life is to short

  I think Julia said it best "When this ideal is constantly held up, you compare everyone to it and become completely judgmental and a stickler for stupid rules."

  I was never good enough, I never had enough faith, I did not rely on Jehovah enough, I did not study enough, the list of what I did wrong was always, always, always, in front of me. I married a man who had been an elder for 12 before we were married and he was asked to move to a hall where the need was great for elders. It was in the country which meant we had to drive and drive and drive around aimlessly just racking on the miles but it also meant I was stuck in a car with anywhere between five to six other people who HATED ME being the only elder's wife in the hall.

  I was young than early 20's and did not know how to stand up for myself at all. I could do nothing right in the eyes of these people, what I said at the door was ripped apart as soon as we left the door, my fear of dogs was ridiculed, I had to work 30 hours a week to support this stupid waste of time plus try to get in my 90 hours a month pioneer hours yet I was talked to about my falling asleep while we were driving around between doors. I was exhausted which only leads to OCD even more. I totally had OCD at that time.

  The whole thing looking back is just a pressure cooker for mental illness.

  LITS
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  20

  Alive and Well

  by LouBelle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i want to thank you kind folk for caring about me!!!!.

  apologies for not checking in sooner, i have been so busy with the new job, and by the time evening comes i am so exhausted to log in from my laptop (that is sooooooooooooo slow).

  update: job is going well - i'm back in sales and with the community newspapers known as the fever.

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  life is to short

  I am so happy for you

  LITS
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  16

  Question regarding parental obligation to report to authorities

  by gbrn in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i am relatively new to the forum, and not quite as familiar with all of the ins and outs of jw culture as many of you are, so i apologize if this is an ignorant question.

  it is quite apparent the wt has handled child abuse allegations in a horrible way, viewing it as sin as opposed to a crime.

  after an allegation is reported to the elders, and they are not required by law to report to the authorities, why don't parents simply go to the authorities themselves and report the crime.

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  life is to short

  I did not have any children but I was threatened with being DF'ed if I told any parents we had three pedophiles in the hall. I was told I had no place informing anyone of what I knew. When I did tell one mom before I was threatened with being DF'ed she went straight to the elders instead of checking the internet like I had told her to or going to our local cop shop. After talking with one of the elders she let her little girl sit with the pedophiles family at the meetings (the pedophile had a teenager) because as the elder told me he had to convince her the pedophiles were safe. Apparently the elder did a good job in convincing her.

  LITS
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  27

  "Pst! You CAN go to an international convention even if you're poor, but don't tell everyone!"

  by cedars in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the 2014/2015 international conventions have been announced, and will be held in the following cities.... melbourne, australia october 2014london, england august 2014quito, ecuador january 2015frankfurt, germany july 2014athens, greece june 2014seoul, korea september 2014mexico city, mexico november 2014harare, zimbabwe august 2014as always there is a long list of requirements for those wealthy enough to attend - including the requirement to keep your "exemplary status" right up to the day of departure or lose all your money.. there is also a curious paragraph that seems to indicate an element of subterfuge.... special rooming: confidentially, we will be asking the host branch office to poll local brothers to determine if some might be able to provide limited rooming provisions in private homes.

  this information is not to be made known to the applicants in general.

  however, if the elders are aware of a longtime, faithful servant, perhaps with many years of full-time service, who is not able to fully finance such a trip, he could be encouraged to apply and the secretary can check the box on the electronic jw.org application that this delegate qualifies for the special rooming provision, if available.. basically, watchtower is admitting that it is possible to attend an international convention even if you can't afford the hotel, but they don't want everyone to know because they want as many full-paying delegates as possible.. my article on this can be found on the link below.... http://jwsurvey.org/cedars-blog/watchtower-announces-new-international-conventions-while-downsizing-district-conventions-for-2014.

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  "Others suffered from severe obesity and could not walk long distances or stand for extended periods of time."

  So it not only those who are in need of wheel chairs but also those overweight? Wow

  LITS
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  26

  No more district assemblies in Tri-Cities. News article

  by Indian Larry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  for years the christian congregation of jehovah's witnesses has held a regional convention in the tri-cities, attracting about 16,000 of the faithful who spend an estimated $8.6 million while in town.. .

  but they won't be coming in 2014.. "what they told me is the decision has been made nationally to downsize the number of conventions from 400 to 100. they're simply consolidating," said kris watkins, president and ceo of the tri-cities visitor & convention bureau in kennewick.. .

  read more here: http://www.tri-cityherald.com/2013/08/01/2500842/jehovahs-witnesses-convention.html#storylink=cpy .

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  marked
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  32

  Elizabeth McFarland child abuse lawsuit on the news

  by cedars in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hi folks.

  i'm aware that there is already a thread on the newly-announced elizabeth mcfarland lawsuit, but i thought i would start a new thread for the benefit of lurkers showing the newly released news videos more prominently.. here they are.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfhrhrvm2c4.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xegm1gunz2c.

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  Marked
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  59

  New Child Abuse lawsuit to be filed tomorrow in Ohio against WT and congregation

  by AndersonsInfo in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  media alert: press conference wednesday, july 31, 2013, 11:00 am .

  civil lawsuit filed against ohio jehovahs witnesses congregation and national organizations by sexual abuse victim .

  childhood victim suffered sexual abuse from congregational leader over a four year period .

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  life is to short

  marked and thanks Barbara
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  23

  The real reason allegations of child abuse among JW's are not reported

  by jeremiah18:5-10 in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  this is my opinion, i don't have official quotes or official instructions to back this up.

  what i have is real life experience of having been an elder that was involved in investigating an allegation of child abuse, why we didn't report, why we didn't encourage the parents to report.. its simple really, the main reason elders don't report is concern that they may lose their position in the congregation.

  if you in any way "run ahead" of the society, you will be perceived as proud and arrogant and will be deleted!

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  life is to short

  From what I have seen as an elder's wife I agree totally with you. I found out by accident that we had not just one but three pedophiles in the hall. I only knew of the first one because my sister dated him or otherwise I would not have even known about him.

  My elder husband never told me that in our congregation book study there were two others. I used to have the whole book study over to our home when it was our turn to feed the speaker and I have had these two pedophiles in my home many times not knowing.

  When I did learn of them I totally flipped out. I was molested myself as a child and I HATE pedophiles, it has caused a huge strain on our marriage over this. My husband when I finally found out told me that he did not know for about the first two or three years we were in the hall himself as the other elders kept it even from him an elder, it was only by chance he knew. One of these pedophiles was holding and taking care of children during the meetings so the mom's could listen better to the meetings and the elders who knew he was a child molester thought it was great. One pedophile even had sleep overs at his home for the young boys in the hall and one of the other elders grandson went to the sleep over with the elder grandfather knowing he was a pedophile. These pedopohiles were not young men either they were in the 40's to late 50's.

  It finally came to a head when one of the pedophiles insisted that he was going to go door to door with us. It was over my dead body. I went to the CO, not the body of elder nor my hsuband but the CO and asked if I truly had to let a man who had raped kids in my car, the CO told me I just needed to get a handle on my feelings and YES I would have to allow it. I totally filliped out, my husband was deleted as an elder after being one for 32 years because I was not in enough subjection.

  Crazy hay. LITS
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  25

  How does TTATT affect your marriage??

  by Crazyguy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just wondering of those of you that have left or are fading and have married ones still in, how is it going, is there hope or is the marriage doomed?

  wondering what are the percentages.

  i'm fading fast but wife is zealous as ever and we don't talk spiritual things at all anymore.

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  life is to short

  Looking back at my marriage I see where I gave all control to my husband, he was older and he was an elder. When I wanted some say in how my life was going he would throw at me if you do not like this you should have never married an elder. I would instantly feel like scum when he said that to me and it would take all the wind out of my sail so to speak, I could not find words to answer him because I did marry him as an elder and I truly thought I had no right to question what was happening.

  There were so many time over and over and over that I would be put down and made to feel like a child. Like we would have plans for doing something as a couple after the meeting and time after time after time a surprise elders meeting would come up and my husband would dump me like a hot rock. I would be told to just go sit in the car, like I was a child. Never was I offered a ride home from him or anyone. I would sit in the car for hours and hours. It got to the point the even the publishers in the hall would come up to me and tell me to just go sit in the car as they needed to talk to my husband. He was the only elder in the hall when we were first married. I even got phone calls from some of the JW's screaming at me demanding to speak to my husband, just rude people who no respect for me being his wife. It was HELL.

  I put up with it because in my heart of hearts I thought it was really the truth, I thought things would get better someday. I would watch other young couples have date nights, and have fun together buying things for their homes, getting new cloths etc but all of our money went into field service for car gas to pioneer and besides we never had time for date nights as there was always a shepherding call to make or a meeting parts to prepare, etc.

  I truly loved my husband more than anything in the world, but slowly that love died sitting in the car and being dumped at a moment's notice for someone in the hall. We could never and I mean NEVER miss a Saturday morning for service. A couple of times I talked my husband into not going out in service but he still had to go conduct. It was totally crazy. When we finally bought our first and only home he was on a JC committee that went on for weeks, I painted the home and moved in by myself. One of our new neighbors even came over and asked if I was single, I told him no I was married the neighbor than asked if we lived together because he never saw my husband with me. I got into a bad car accident and was going to massage therapy which I had to quit because it interfered with my going out in service and as an elder's wife my husband could not stand that.

  It all came to a head when I realized that we had not one but three pedophiles in our hall, two of which were in our book study group at the time and one of which was determined that he was going to work door to door with my husband. I was like over my dead body. My husband said he would have to being he was an elder. It was finally a huge deal breaker for me. I went to the CO and asked if it was true that my husband would have to work with a man who had raped children and the CO told me I 'needed to get a handle on my attitude and yes my husband WOULD WORK with pedophiles door to door.' I totally flipped out, that was totally the very last straw. All the other hurtful things that had been done to me was nothing compared to my husband working in public with men who had raped kids. I was molested as a child and it was just mind numbing to me to think that my husband would spit in my face to be going door to door with a child rapist.

  Anyway long story short the elders deleted my husband because I was not in submission. I was not in enough submission after all the hell I had been through, all the hours of sitting in the car alone, no time with my husband and I was not in submission???????

  My husband has apologized over and over for the past but the past is still in my mind my memory and I truly wish I could make it go away it still hurts in how I was treated like a non person all those years. It just took the extreme of the pedophiles to make me finally have a back bone. To here you guys say your wife's had temper tantrums and would yell and scream it totally amazes me. I never would have dreamed to do that, though my husband says that I always got my way, and I truly do not know what he means by that. How did I get my way? Our second year anniversary that I had been looking forward to for weeks was destroyed because my husband had a elders meeting come up and I spent the night over seven hours in a cold car until one in the morning waiting for the meeting to end. We never made up for the anniversary. How did I get my way, no mornings together just having coffee, no true time together, all our marriage was for the stupid religion. No time for me his wife, but somehow I got my way.

  Our marriage is not great now because of the past but we have been together for so long and I just cannot walk out, I just wish I could turn back time and that I had, had a back bone back than. And yes my husband is still in though he misses a ton of meeting the pedophile thing really affected him and he did agree that I was totally right about it.

  LITS